You know, I've been doing a lot of internal review and contemplation. I haven't posted here in a while due to some heavy personal things I've been dealing with. I haven't been able to write since July. It isn't writer's block. I just haven't had the energy to create.
I've been thinking a lot about what would happen if I was no longer present on the face of this earth, as grim as it sounds. I have been writing in my series for nearly twenty years. And what do I have to show for it? One revised book and a train wreck of projects waiting around to be written, completed, or overhauled and pulled from the limbo badlands.
What would I leave behind as a writer if I only had two months left? Two years? Five years? What would happen if I could suddenly no longer write? There are so many stories I want to draft and have exist just for the sheer sake of knowing I wrote them and they're somewhere besides inside my own head.
In recent years, I've realized I need to get back to my roots and the original reason I started writing: for me. It was never to become rich or famous or cool or anything like that. I wanted to create my stories for me. For the simple yet complex and rich pleasure of picking up a story I know I could trust and enjoy. For reliving those raw wisps of energy and thought in a refined form and woven together more cohesively in a fashion that I could enjoy again and again, at my own discretion.
Now, I just hope I have the opportunity to continue to write and bring as many of these stories to life as I can before anything comes up that would prevent me from adding material to my list of accomplishments. I still intend to do as much as I can to achieve that goal. I have no idea when I'll be able to get another book published and available to the public, but I hope it isn't too far down the road. There is so much in my imagination that I don't want to let die. A trilogy must be completed yet again. A duology must join it in written form. A mini series yearns to grow its family. Standalone stories, new series, adventures with magic and machines and space and darkness and light and intrigue are all crying to be told. I will do my best to bring them to fruition. And all along the way, I just hope and pray that I have the strength to accomplish what I desire.
I hope you'll always write for yourself, ultimately. I've experienced serious writer's melancholy, wondering if anyone cares about my writing anymore, but we have to remember that we as authors should care for our own writing.
ReplyDeleteWriting should be fun! And I'm always waiting to read something of yours, even if I have to wait a long time :)
Absolutely. The way I view it, unless you're getting paid thousands or millions to just write pulp fiction drivel, your worlds are for YOU as a writer, first and foremost. Write what you love, and enjoy the journey along the way.
DeleteI'm sorry you've felt so discouraged and lonely on your personal road as a writer. I still enjoy your work, but I'll also respect it if you need to take some personal time for yourself to recharge and re-center. I've had to do it a couple of times, myself. Life is constantly shifting and changing around us, and sometimes adapting to those changes is difficult. I think interest in our work from others may come and go, and sometimes the challenge is being patient and waiting until another phase is reached where someone else might take interest in what you write, whether to read it or just to have a casual chat with you. But it can definitely feel lonely at times.
And thank you for the compliment :) I've kicked the idea around more than once of posting chapters of a short story here on the blog. It's an idea I'm still interested in, if I can find the right story for it. And, hopefully there will be more books published and available in the LoD universe, before too long. I'm trying!